I noticed that you were getting a bit cranky and clingy as I finished packing up our things today.
Dear Daniel
I know you sense a change is happening and it might be scary. Living with my family is all that you've know during your early life. But sweetie we can't and shouldn't live with them for much longer.
I know your too young to understand about change, but it's a good and healthy part of life. Your growing and you need your own space and home. I want to give you a stable environment and life not filled with drama and stress.
This is something your dad and I didn't have while growing up and we promised to give that to you. For my part I'm going to keep that promise and finally move out and on from living with my family.
I'm excited to finally start our life as a family. It's ok that it's just the two of us.
It will be a bit rough to start but mommy promises it will get better. Have faith in me and this decision.
Now please let go of my leg so I can finish packing.
Love you always,
Your Umma
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Mommy Bathroom Time - Dear Kid
It's time for you to allow mommy some private all alone bathroom time.
Dear Daniel
I understand that you like to follow me around to make sure your not missing anything exciting...or eatable. But the bathroom is/has been/and will remain off limits to you until your potty trained...or it's bath time.
Please stop trying to open the door. Please also stop banging on said door when you can't find a way to open it. Most important please stop making a scene until mommy is forced to peak out the bathroom to check that everything is OK.
I hope you will soon understand this is about mommy needing someplace where she is not being "mommy".
Love you always,
Your Umma
Dear Daniel
I understand that you like to follow me around to make sure your not missing anything exciting...or eatable. But the bathroom is/has been/and will remain off limits to you until your potty trained...or it's bath time.
Please stop trying to open the door. Please also stop banging on said door when you can't find a way to open it. Most important please stop making a scene until mommy is forced to peak out the bathroom to check that everything is OK.
I hope you will soon understand this is about mommy needing someplace where she is not being "mommy".
Love you always,
Your Umma
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Is that your baby supermarket edition
So after the park, I stopped in the supermarket for a forgotten item, went to the check out and the cashier started the "is that your baby"
This is the third time for day, so I say yes quickly hoping she'll hurry up cause baby and I are tired and want to go home and nap. No luck
Homegirl decided to make a whole conversation outta how my son doesn't look like me.
Her: "He must look like his dad right?"
Me: I ignore her.
But she's the clueless type cause despite me clearly ignoring her, she asks again two more times! I finally said, no my son looks like me.
She looks at me with an attitude cause I guess she's not happy with my answer and says, "I don't think so, he doesn't looks anything like you."
Now like I said this is the 3rd time for today plus I'm tired so I stood there tempted to jump over the counter and bop her real good.
But no, instead I started chanting to myself, the power of buddha compels you, the power of buddha compels you, don't do it, don't do it.
And I just said I didn't ask you now did I? Then took my stuff and came home.
This is the third time for day, so I say yes quickly hoping she'll hurry up cause baby and I are tired and want to go home and nap. No luck
Homegirl decided to make a whole conversation outta how my son doesn't look like me.
Her: "He must look like his dad right?"
Me: I ignore her.
But she's the clueless type cause despite me clearly ignoring her, she asks again two more times! I finally said, no my son looks like me.
She looks at me with an attitude cause I guess she's not happy with my answer and says, "I don't think so, he doesn't looks anything like you."
Now like I said this is the 3rd time for today plus I'm tired so I stood there tempted to jump over the counter and bop her real good.
But no, instead I started chanting to myself, the power of buddha compels you, the power of buddha compels you, don't do it, don't do it.
And I just said I didn't ask you now did I? Then took my stuff and came home.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Weekend Adventure at H-Mart
Today we journeyed to NJ to do some shopping and visit with Auntie/ Mommy Lai. Last time we saw her Daniel was just about 3 months or so.
We kept making plans but either the weather, schedule conflict or just being to sleepy kept us from meeting.
But when I asked Lai where in NJ is an H-mart, she said about 15min from her. Well, I'm all for killing two birds with one stone so we planned to combine shopping and an overdue visit.
We kept making plans but either the weather, schedule conflict or just being to sleepy kept us from meeting.
But when I asked Lai where in NJ is an H-mart, she said about 15min from her. Well, I'm all for killing two birds with one stone so we planned to combine shopping and an overdue visit.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Caught Between a Mommy Rock and Hard Place
After a change of plans, I wondered how I could spend the rest of my day. I was already outside and the day was so beautiful and warm. Daniel was enjoying it and looked so cute in his fisherman hat. A true shame to return home now.
So I thought, since we're already in downtown brooklyn, we should go hangout on the Brooklyn Heights Promenade. That would be a great way to destress, try to tan Daniel and of course get a photo.
On the way I stopped in a neighborhood store for some refreshment. I grab my drink and head up to the counter to pay.
Ironically it's a Korean owned store with a older Korean women at the counter. As I'm paying the women starts talking to Daniel. Then she starts a convo with me
Korean counter lady: What's the name
Me: Daniel
Korean counter lady: Oh, it's a boy
Me: *frown* yes he's a boy
Korean counter lady: Oh so cute.
Me: Thank you. Say Annyeong Haseyo Daniel *paying and getting ready to leave*
Korean counter lady: Oh he's Japanese
Me: *blink, blink* No he's korean...well really Korean and Black *pointing to Daniel and then myself*
Korean counter lady: *stares at me* Uh huh
As I left the store I laughed at the thought of the Korean counter lady telling her family about the black women who came into the store with a Japanese child trying to say first he was HER baby and then he was black AND korean.
As we rolled onto the promenade I saw a mixed group of women with children. One group of mothers with their kids. The other group of babysitters with their kids.
Where would I sit? Who can I be friendly with? Honestly I stood there for a few seconds cause I was struck with the option and what it might led to.
If I sit with the moms will they wonder why a baby sitter is in the mommy section? Will I have to explain in detail with DNA diagrams how genetics work and YES he really is my baby? Hmm
If I sit with the babysitters will they shun me after learning I am not part of the "lets complain about our bosses" club? Will I need to convince them that I'm not a spy and I'm just a regular person like them? Hmm
As I stood there looking at them, they sat there looking me waiting for me to choose an alliance. Hmm.
I'm wasn't up to dealing with the social politics today so I made my way to an empty bench away from both groups. There I enjoyed the sun, the smell of the sea and Daniels warm baby kisses. What a great end to the day.
So I thought, since we're already in downtown brooklyn, we should go hangout on the Brooklyn Heights Promenade. That would be a great way to destress, try to tan Daniel and of course get a photo.
On the way I stopped in a neighborhood store for some refreshment. I grab my drink and head up to the counter to pay.
Ironically it's a Korean owned store with a older Korean women at the counter. As I'm paying the women starts talking to Daniel. Then she starts a convo with me
Korean counter lady: What's the name
Me: Daniel
Korean counter lady: Oh, it's a boy
Me: *frown* yes he's a boy
Korean counter lady: Oh so cute.
Me: Thank you. Say Annyeong Haseyo Daniel *paying and getting ready to leave*
Korean counter lady: Oh he's Japanese
Me: *blink, blink* No he's korean...well really Korean and Black *pointing to Daniel and then myself*
Korean counter lady: *stares at me* Uh huh
As I left the store I laughed at the thought of the Korean counter lady telling her family about the black women who came into the store with a Japanese child trying to say first he was HER baby and then he was black AND korean.
As we rolled onto the promenade I saw a mixed group of women with children. One group of mothers with their kids. The other group of babysitters with their kids.
Where would I sit? Who can I be friendly with? Honestly I stood there for a few seconds cause I was struck with the option and what it might led to.
If I sit with the moms will they wonder why a baby sitter is in the mommy section? Will I have to explain in detail with DNA diagrams how genetics work and YES he really is my baby? Hmm
If I sit with the babysitters will they shun me after learning I am not part of the "lets complain about our bosses" club? Will I need to convince them that I'm not a spy and I'm just a regular person like them? Hmm
As I stood there looking at them, they sat there looking me waiting for me to choose an alliance. Hmm.
I'm wasn't up to dealing with the social politics today so I made my way to an empty bench away from both groups. There I enjoyed the sun, the smell of the sea and Daniels warm baby kisses. What a great end to the day.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Brag about your blog day
Today on twitter everyone was invite to brag about our blogs. Well of course I had to surf over.
It's true I have not updated this blog recently but I still have lots to brag about. I'm amazed anyone still vists here and leaves me comments.
But I have to say, it's a great feeling to know something as simple as this blog and my kooky thoughts can have such a powerful effect on other people. That was what I wrote about during my 5 seconds of fame. I re-posted my comment below.
I love SO many things about my blogs Blasian Baby Notes and Daniels 365
First I love that their mini memory book for the events in my son’s life. Children grow so much in the first year of their life that you can’t keep up with everything…unless you have a blog.
Second, I love that visitors to my blogs form a community in some many different ways. I never thought having a biracial child would be the main connection with me and so many moms and dads. Since my son is black and asian = blasian, I have an automatic connection to those two communities. But I’m also connected to any person black, asian, white, hispanic, etc that loves children and cares about the issues that affect them.
Lastly, thru my blogs I become a voice… an activist… a face for black mothers who date, marry and raise families that step outside the mainstream norm of what is expected of us.
Viva la difference!
It's true I have not updated this blog recently but I still have lots to brag about. I'm amazed anyone still vists here and leaves me comments.
But I have to say, it's a great feeling to know something as simple as this blog and my kooky thoughts can have such a powerful effect on other people. That was what I wrote about during my 5 seconds of fame. I re-posted my comment below.
I love SO many things about my blogs Blasian Baby Notes and Daniels 365
First I love that their mini memory book for the events in my son’s life. Children grow so much in the first year of their life that you can’t keep up with everything…unless you have a blog.
Second, I love that visitors to my blogs form a community in some many different ways. I never thought having a biracial child would be the main connection with me and so many moms and dads. Since my son is black and asian = blasian, I have an automatic connection to those two communities. But I’m also connected to any person black, asian, white, hispanic, etc that loves children and cares about the issues that affect them.
Lastly, thru my blogs I become a voice… an activist… a face for black mothers who date, marry and raise families that step outside the mainstream norm of what is expected of us.
Viva la difference!
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Sometimes nursing wins
So for the morning nap I decided to carryover the night "cry it out" training into daytime. When I saw my son getting sleepy I moved him into the bedroom where it's quiet and the light are subdued.
I started to nurse him and when I noticed he starting to nod off, I shifted him into the playard. I sat next to him on the bed and waited for the crying to start.
Well he just laid there for a few seconds, smiled at me and then started rolling all over the playard.
*sigh*
OK, so a little activity isn't bad if he needs it to go to sleep right? Well after about 10 minutes I noticed this activity wasn't getting him any closer to sleep...
If anything I was the one getting sleepy. So I picked him up and started a second round of nursing.
This time I just let him fall asleep fully, before I put him back in the playard. I have too many things to try and do today to wait the 45 minutes for him to sleep when I can knock him out in 10 minutes with boobie.
I guess we're back to only night time "crying it out" training for now.
I started to nurse him and when I noticed he starting to nod off, I shifted him into the playard. I sat next to him on the bed and waited for the crying to start.
Well he just laid there for a few seconds, smiled at me and then started rolling all over the playard.
*sigh*
OK, so a little activity isn't bad if he needs it to go to sleep right? Well after about 10 minutes I noticed this activity wasn't getting him any closer to sleep...
If anything I was the one getting sleepy. So I picked him up and started a second round of nursing.
This time I just let him fall asleep fully, before I put him back in the playard. I have too many things to try and do today to wait the 45 minutes for him to sleep when I can knock him out in 10 minutes with boobie.
I guess we're back to only night time "crying it out" training for now.
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