Dear Daniel
Clearly your not listening to me. I don't know what to do. I've spoken to you nicely, I've yelled, I've firmly removed from said couch and asked you to jump on the floor. But none of that works. Still the daredevil in you prompts instant couch jumping as soon as I leave the room.
As I watch you attempt leaps, kicks and other acrobatic feats, I wonder if your training for some toddler couch Olympics I don't know about. That has to be it. Are you training in secret? Did a special note get passed to you while you were on the slide showing off you hangman skills? It's the only thing I can think of why you keep trying to give me a heartache or tempt a trip to the emergency room for a broken body part.
Well if you're getting ready for some imaginary toddler couch Olympics, from the way you've been training I'm sure you'll bring home the first prize. Then all this new gray hair I've gotten will be worth it.
Love you always,
Your Umma
