Food Fight - Dear Saturday

It's Saturday! Time for a Dear Daniel letter

Dear Daniel

When will we stop the food fight? I'm beyond tired of you say "NO" to me while Im trying to feed you. Further I don't think it's cute that you're now "hiding" from the food. Meal times is not hide and seek time. Honestly I cant believe we're having such an issue.

People told me this time would come but I didn't believe it. You've always liked food and ate well. So to think there would be a time when you would refuse food? Not going to happen I told myself. Yet here we are at each meal time having this power struggle.

The books and experts say it's about you wanting to feel more control of things. *sigh* Trust me kid, you have control over more things then you know. Do we have to fight in the food area?

I worry that all these missed meals will harm your development. You're still young and need the nourishment that food provides. I'm scared that you'll miss some vital nutrition and have a problem later in life. *sigh* This fear has driven me to

• Make multi meals in the hope that you might eat one.
• Make all sorts of weird yummy sounds to encourage you to take a spoon
• Come up with creative ways to combine everything for those rare moments I can get 3 whole spoons of food into you before you go back on strike

From Nov 2009 to now it feels that this battle has been going on a bit long. At least in my mommy mind. How much more kid?

As I watch you run around and get into mischief, you don't seem to be affected by the missed meals. But I still worry. So can we find a way to call a food truce? Is there some kind of war time eating agreement we both can settle on? As I once again enter the battlefield...with this plate of chicken and rice...I hope we can. Soon!

Love you always,

Your Umma

Inspired by the Crisis in Crib Screening

Have you ever been in a place filled with energy so powerful that your skin tingles? After seeing screening of the Crisis in the Crib: Saving Our Nation's Babies, a documentary by Tonya Lewis Lee, all the women in the room became of one mind, thoughts and intent. It was electric!

Since I've already blogged about the screening and how I think it can affect the Asian and Black community, I want to talk more about what happened before and after as I met amazing women doing amazing things.

I was invited by Kimberly Seals Allers (www.mochamanual.com) to attend the screening. Kimberly is a one women force for the female community. She's motivated by her love for black women and the black community. Kimberly explained how after speaking with Tonya Lewis Lee they both wanted to find a way to spread awareness about this plight of African American babies and hopefully bring about change.

Tonya Lewis Lee (www.tonyalewislee.com) is a women of change herself being an attorney, award-winning television producer, wife of filmmaker Spike Lee, and a spokesperson for the Office of Minority Health's "A Healthy Baby Begins With You" campaign since 2007! But even with all this she feels the bond of the motherhood. Tonya spoke of her experience as a mother and hopes that other black mothers will take their health and the health of their babies as a serious issue.

I also meet the different women behind Women's eNews (www.womensenews.org),...well, really Daniel met them first since he was running around their office saying hello. LOL. As I chased after him I chatted with each person learning their roles and more about the organization.

I have to give a major hat tip to Carol Jenkins (www.huffingtonpost.com/carol-jenkins). Carol and I shared a conversation about raising biracial kids in this culture.

Carol's granddaughter is an adopted biracial child and her daughter encounters comments from people who think she should have adopted a "one" race child. Ah yes, people sure are bold right?

Carol was also very helpful with entertaining Daniel. In truth he was no problem at the screening...beyond wanting to meet everyone. LOL. But for the moments when I needed to "work" the screening room, Carol was more then happy to hangout with Daniel. I entertained thoughts of making her his honorary grandmother. LOL

But these are not the only amazing women in the room that night. I briefly meet Lucinda Cross (www.corporatemomdropouts.com) and Nichelle Stephens (www.nichellestephens.com). Both black women doin there thing in the social media world

I also learned about different community organizations that focus on helping black women in all different stages. One women talked about using Yoga to help young women learn to be healthy, another women talked about helping black mothers who are recovering addicts, another helps protect the rights of blacks mothers in jail. On and on I heard from powerful advocates for the community of black women. All touched by this issue and willing to spread the word.

Sadly, I didn't get a chance to speak one on one with as many as I wanted, since I had to get Daniel home. But I left the screening being inspired by the great things my fellow sisters are doing for their different communities. Go black women!

Behind the Judgment of Strangers

Everyone loves a baby right? I told myself this was the reason behind why strangers felt the need to comment on my parenting. Unsolicited!

While I admit some comments are helpful...sadly most are not.

Some comments are down right mean and nasty. One man told me "some people shouldn't have kids" after I tried to stop my son from crying...and failed. What's the deal with comments like these?!

Oddly enough it took another stranger who helped me understand why I get some gutty comments. After a full day of activity we jumped on the bus to head back home. Apparently Daniel chose this moment to make poo in his diaper. I don't have to tell you that fresh poo smells.

One women felt the need to tell me he went in his diaper. Hmm. I replied I know but nothing I can do until we get home. She gave me a look but said nothing else. Another women while getting off the bus started speaking to her in Spanish. I don't have to understand Spanish to know they we're talking about me and my son. After she leaves the first women felt the need to tell me...

Spanish WM #1: She was talking about you and how your not doing anything for him. That by the time you take him home it will be to late.

Me: *sigh* We're on our home. What did she want? For me to change him on the bus?

Spanish WM #1: I told her to mind her business. Unless she's willing to go buy the diapers and wipes then she should be quiet.

Me: *nodding and thinking that's the end of it*

Spanish WM #1: I hate people like that. People always have something to say. You know what it is...she just looks at him and doesn't see you. She thinks he's not yours and so wants to talk about you.

Me: *light bulb moment*

I'm going stop the conversation right there. That woman doesn't know it but she made my life both easier and hardier. Nice to know that people attack me because they think I'm the nanny...not the mother. Seems being perceived as the nanny automatically gives strangers the right to judge me and share nasty comments.

That's an interesting issue. If my son was brown like me would people turn a blind eye when he cries? If I was a white mom would I get supportive comments and the smile that says "I know how it is"? If I was Spanish like that women would she have been quiet? Hmm.