Thursday, February 18, 2010

Behind the Judgment of Strangers

Everyone loves a baby right? I told myself this was the reason behind why strangers felt the need to comment on my parenting. Unsolicited!



While I admit some comments are helpful...sadly most are not.

Some comments are down right mean and nasty. One man told me "some people shouldn't have kids" after I tried to stop my son from crying...and failed. What's the deal with comments like these?!

Oddly enough it took another stranger who helped me understand why I get some gutty comments. After a full day of activity we jumped on the bus to head back home. Apparently Daniel chose this moment to make poo in his diaper. I don't have to tell you that fresh poo smells.

One women felt the need to tell me he went in his diaper. Hmm. I replied I know but nothing I can do until we get home. She gave me a look but said nothing else. Another women while getting off the bus started speaking to her in Spanish. I don't have to understand Spanish to know they we're talking about me and my son. After she leaves the first women felt the need to tell me...

Spanish WM #1: She was talking about you and how your not doing anything for him. That by the time you take him home it will be to late.

Me: *sigh* We're on our home. What did she want? For me to change him on the bus?

Spanish WM #1: I told her to mind her business. Unless she's willing to go buy the diapers and wipes then she should be quiet.

Me: *nodding and thinking that's the end of it*

Spanish WM #1: I hate people like that. People always have something to say. You know what it is...she just looks at him and doesn't see you. She thinks he's not yours and so wants to talk about you.

Me: *light bulb moment*

I'm going stop the conversation right there. That woman doesn't know it but she made my life both easier and hardier. Nice to know that people attack me because they think I'm the nanny...not the mother. Seems being perceived as the nanny automatically gives strangers the right to judge me and share nasty comments.

That's an interesting issue. If my son was brown like me would people turn a blind eye when he cries? If I was a white mom would I get supportive comments and the smile that says "I know how it is"? If I was Spanish like that women would she have been quiet? Hmm.

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