This morning we had another wrestling sessions over you wanting to nurse and me not letting you.
Dear Daniel
I cant figure out what happened to the self weaning stage you went thru a few months back. We were doing so well. You were down to just night time nursing and some nights didn't even need it. But after the move we're back to you trying to nurse all the time. Hmm.
Please try and understand it's not that mommy doesn't want to comfort you. I know you nurse when your upset about something but we need to find other ways to calm you. I've tried hugging and rocking, singing and dancing ad even as a last resort...bribing with raisins. So far your favorite soothing method is the raisins but they will only last 1.05oz worth. Hmm
So for now we'll negotiate the nursing schedule. I'll allow it at night so I don't have to worry what the neighbors think of a child crying his headoff. Plus I want to get some sleep. But you have to ease up on the reaching in my shirt to grab a boobie when we're outside. Deal?
Love you always,
Your Umma
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Our Blasian Shout-Out on YouTube
A few days ago I was contacted by Naomi on YouTube. Usually when people find one of my videos they'll send me a msg. The msgs are usually from another mother with a blasian child or from a blasian person.
Of course they all want to say how adorable Daniel is. LOL.
But this note from Naomi was a bit different since she wanted to make a shoutout video for both me and Daniel.
I wasn't sure what would be in Naomi's shoutout video but after watching them I was stunned. Naomi doesnt know this but just by making that simple video she has done an amazing thing. Through that video she will spread awareness to others about
Watching Naomi's shoutout video brought me to tears. I never know how the things I do and blog about touches others. Sometimes I wonder if anyone outside my community even really cares.
As I heard Naomi make comment's about blog posts I've written, product reviews I've done and how wonderful is was to see a mother documenting moments in a child life...I am encouraged to keep doing what I do.
Thank you Naomi!
Of course they all want to say how adorable Daniel is. LOL.
But this note from Naomi was a bit different since she wanted to make a shoutout video for both me and Daniel.
I wasn't sure what would be in Naomi's shoutout video but after watching them I was stunned. Naomi doesnt know this but just by making that simple video she has done an amazing thing. Through that video she will spread awareness to others about
- Black women who date Asian men,
- Families with biracial children or family members who have biracial children
- Racial tolerance and acceptance
Watching Naomi's shoutout video brought me to tears. I never know how the things I do and blog about touches others. Sometimes I wonder if anyone outside my community even really cares.
As I heard Naomi make comment's about blog posts I've written, product reviews I've done and how wonderful is was to see a mother documenting moments in a child life...I am encouraged to keep doing what I do.
Thank you Naomi!
Friday, January 29, 2010
Learning How to Parent Alone
Parenting alone is a scary thing. I'll be the first to admit it. Yes, I did choose to be a single parent, but that doesn't make it any easier.
Parenting is still hard work!
Now that Daniel and I are "officially" on our own, after moving away from my family, I'm trying to learn to do things on my own as a parent.
In one ways it's a wonderful thing to be free to train and raise my son in my own way. No more bickering about what he's eating, wearing, or doing. The first and final say is mine!
But in other ways it's a little stressful not to have a little backup when I need it. Now if I need something from the store I have to dress Daniel and take him. Doesn't matter if it's cold, rainy or late night.
Also what little free time I use to have is all gone. From morning to night Daniel demands my attention. Now I am his sole distraction and playmate.
The one area I find this being a real problem is when I need to blog. Trying to develop a thought has become a challenge when I constantly have to stop and tend to him in some way.
Writing one blog use to take me a few hours now it takes me a whole day. Since I'm already backup in some areas blog-wise you can see how frustrating this is becoming.
Some paying blog projects have deadlines and if I cant meet the deadlines then there's no payment. That's not acceptable.
As a single parent one of the scariest things is the fear I can't provide for my son. From food to medical I need to be able to cover these basics. If I can't then panic will set in.
Matter of fact Linda, a blog friend, who's a single mom through adoption, recently wrote "Therapy Thursday - Are my Hot Thoughts Killing Me" about having such a panic attack when she couldn't find a medical bill to pay. (www.newyorkcitysinglemom.com/2010/01/therapy-thursday-are-my-hot-thoughts.html)
In that blog Linda outline some ways to focus and reduce the panicking feeling when going through an anxiety attack.
I found that info so helpful. As a single mom I do need "tools" to help me figure things out. What I learned from my own family wont work for us since I want to parent differently.
I want to learn how to parent so I can figure out what works best for MY family.
Parenting is still hard work!
Now that Daniel and I are "officially" on our own, after moving away from my family, I'm trying to learn to do things on my own as a parent.
In one ways it's a wonderful thing to be free to train and raise my son in my own way. No more bickering about what he's eating, wearing, or doing. The first and final say is mine!
But in other ways it's a little stressful not to have a little backup when I need it. Now if I need something from the store I have to dress Daniel and take him. Doesn't matter if it's cold, rainy or late night.
Also what little free time I use to have is all gone. From morning to night Daniel demands my attention. Now I am his sole distraction and playmate.
The one area I find this being a real problem is when I need to blog. Trying to develop a thought has become a challenge when I constantly have to stop and tend to him in some way.
Writing one blog use to take me a few hours now it takes me a whole day. Since I'm already backup in some areas blog-wise you can see how frustrating this is becoming.
Some paying blog projects have deadlines and if I cant meet the deadlines then there's no payment. That's not acceptable.
As a single parent one of the scariest things is the fear I can't provide for my son. From food to medical I need to be able to cover these basics. If I can't then panic will set in.
Matter of fact Linda, a blog friend, who's a single mom through adoption, recently wrote "Therapy Thursday - Are my Hot Thoughts Killing Me" about having such a panic attack when she couldn't find a medical bill to pay. (www.newyorkcitysinglemom.com/2010/01/therapy-thursday-are-my-hot-thoughts.html)
In that blog Linda outline some ways to focus and reduce the panicking feeling when going through an anxiety attack.
I found that info so helpful. As a single mom I do need "tools" to help me figure things out. What I learned from my own family wont work for us since I want to parent differently.
I want to learn how to parent so I can figure out what works best for MY family.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Blasian families are not a rarity
Today we made our usual trip to the laundromat. While waiting for the clothes to wash I followed Daniel as he walked around. As we walked past a black women asked "what is he mixed with"? I thought, that's a new spin on the "is that your baby"? question.
As I looked at her cooing at my son I could tell she was just curious. Besides, she also had a baby boy in a stroller. From his curly hair I suspected he might be biracial.
So I told her my son is half Korean. She replied "I knew he was half Asian, my daughter is half Filipino". Once again I was found by another black mother with a blasian child.
Being found by mothers with blasian children is happening to me more and more. Usually they find me online through facebook or the blog. I'm always amazed and proud when that happens. For so long I've been the one doing the stalking of other mothers. Now it's time for me to be stalked. LOL.
But even as I meet other mothers I still deal with people thinking my community is a "rarity". When I talk about my community to other people they have a hard time seeing it. I think some people think I talk and write about race as a hobby instead of a real life experience.
A few times I've seen comments on my blogs where people say a black women with a half Asian child is so "rare, special or unique". Hmm. I don't agree with all of that.
Neither my son or I are some sort of mutated species of humanity. I doubt people realize what they're saying or what labeling us "rare" implies.
I recently wrote a blog about how people should take the red pill (hat tip to the Matrix movies) so they can SEE the blasian community because we're not some secret sect. Blasian are everywhere and I'm sure part of many people's family tree.
Not to mention at the rate that asians and blacks are making blasian babies we're a growing force in the population. It's exciting to see!
After chatting with this other mother of a blasian child I came home encouraged. We both prove that blasian families are far from being a rarity.
As I looked at her cooing at my son I could tell she was just curious. Besides, she also had a baby boy in a stroller. From his curly hair I suspected he might be biracial.
So I told her my son is half Korean. She replied "I knew he was half Asian, my daughter is half Filipino". Once again I was found by another black mother with a blasian child.
Being found by mothers with blasian children is happening to me more and more. Usually they find me online through facebook or the blog. I'm always amazed and proud when that happens. For so long I've been the one doing the stalking of other mothers. Now it's time for me to be stalked. LOL.
But even as I meet other mothers I still deal with people thinking my community is a "rarity". When I talk about my community to other people they have a hard time seeing it. I think some people think I talk and write about race as a hobby instead of a real life experience.
A few times I've seen comments on my blogs where people say a black women with a half Asian child is so "rare, special or unique". Hmm. I don't agree with all of that.
Neither my son or I are some sort of mutated species of humanity. I doubt people realize what they're saying or what labeling us "rare" implies.
I recently wrote a blog about how people should take the red pill (hat tip to the Matrix movies) so they can SEE the blasian community because we're not some secret sect. Blasian are everywhere and I'm sure part of many people's family tree.
Not to mention at the rate that asians and blacks are making blasian babies we're a growing force in the population. It's exciting to see!
After chatting with this other mother of a blasian child I came home encouraged. We both prove that blasian families are far from being a rarity.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
You are a great kid - Dear Kid
You're a great kid! From day one you started out this way.
Dear Daniel
You were such a great baby. You had your own sleeping schedule and hardly stayed awake all night. I didn't have the long months of crying and fussiness other moms spoke about. You ate well and took to breastfeeding with no issue. Later you took to solid foods also without issue. As long as I kept the snacks coming you were happy :)
Now your a toddler and still a great kid! Yes like other toddlers you test your boundaries and love doing all things your not suppose to do. Yes, like other toddlers you can have meltdowns and temper tantrums.
But even with all that...your still a great kid. Your meltdowns and tantrums hardly last a few minutes and after you always come to give me a hug and kiss. I learned this is your way of saying sorry mommy.
But the best part so far is your love of travel. :) Like your mommy you love being out and about.
Traveling with you is a joy. This might be because you started traveling with me when you were 3 days old. You always get comments on how well behaved you are...and it's true.
Like most kids you love running around and sneaking things when your mom isn't looking. But unlike most kids you behave and listen when you need to. Maybe this might change later. But even so, I've learned enough about you to know that you'll still be a great kid! ;)
Love you always,
Your Umma
Dear Daniel
You were such a great baby. You had your own sleeping schedule and hardly stayed awake all night. I didn't have the long months of crying and fussiness other moms spoke about. You ate well and took to breastfeeding with no issue. Later you took to solid foods also without issue. As long as I kept the snacks coming you were happy :)
Now your a toddler and still a great kid! Yes like other toddlers you test your boundaries and love doing all things your not suppose to do. Yes, like other toddlers you can have meltdowns and temper tantrums.
But even with all that...your still a great kid. Your meltdowns and tantrums hardly last a few minutes and after you always come to give me a hug and kiss. I learned this is your way of saying sorry mommy.
But the best part so far is your love of travel. :) Like your mommy you love being out and about.
Traveling with you is a joy. This might be because you started traveling with me when you were 3 days old. You always get comments on how well behaved you are...and it's true.
Like most kids you love running around and sneaking things when your mom isn't looking. But unlike most kids you behave and listen when you need to. Maybe this might change later. But even so, I've learned enough about you to know that you'll still be a great kid! ;)
Love you always,
Your Umma
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Your imagination - Dear Kid
How adorable that your learning to use your imagination more and more each day.
Dear Daniel
I love watching you pretend to talk on the phone using all kinds of different objects. Yes even the tv remote control.
I'm so impressed when you line objects up in rows. I watched as you group first by size, the change your mind and regroup by randomness. I confess I don't exactly understand why you insist on doing it with the shoes. But I've learned to patiently wait until your done and then put them away again.
Still, I cant figure out what's the deal with you wanting to "collect" things in one corner of the room. Is that you imaginary secret treasure area? I dunno but can you please not "collect" things your mommy needs and put them there.
Love you always,
Your Umma
Dear Daniel
I love watching you pretend to talk on the phone using all kinds of different objects. Yes even the tv remote control.
I'm so impressed when you line objects up in rows. I watched as you group first by size, the change your mind and regroup by randomness. I confess I don't exactly understand why you insist on doing it with the shoes. But I've learned to patiently wait until your done and then put them away again.
Still, I cant figure out what's the deal with you wanting to "collect" things in one corner of the room. Is that you imaginary secret treasure area? I dunno but can you please not "collect" things your mommy needs and put them there.
Love you always,
Your Umma
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