Guest Writer: Renee Tecco
I didn't say anything when, as a 16 year old, he and his father thought his summer days would be better served playing video games for 10 hours straight, interspersed with workouts at the school gym and homework from an online class he had to take because he flunked GeoChem.
It had been decided that J2 would attend vocational school but by the beginning of August the paper work for the school was collecting dust on the desk. I didn't say anything.
But on a mid-August day as I walked past the computer desk I noticed a letter from the school counselor attached to a study book. Okay, I'm nosy, I read the letter. My husband J had told me that J2 had passed most of the Ohio Graduation Test (OGT) and only had to re-take one, maybe two sections.
But the letter said differently. J2 passed one section and flunked four, with the possibly of passing two more on the retake. For science and math he'll need prayer.
"Dude!" I said calling my husband up immediately. "What the (bleep) is this! You told me J2 did okay on the OGT."
"He did do okay," J said.
"No, no he didn't. He flatlined on four parts."
"He almost passed two--"
"Almost is for horseshoes, not tests." I said. "What the (bleep), J! We're going to talk when you get home from work. Somethings gotta change."
And it did. A couple of times.
First I contacted the high school counselor to sign J2 up for a vocational program, which is at another school but through the local school. Because he waited too long to sign up the school closest to home was filled so we signed him up for a another one further away. And because we were late signing him up we didn't know that school started that week --on a Friday. What school begins the school year on a Friday? And it was mandatory for parents to attend a two hour orientation that morning which I elected to attend since I was on vacation and J had to work.
By Thursday the following week I was withdrawing J2 from the school and putting him back into his regular high school.
We didn't like the school because his non-vocational classes (English, math, science) hadn't assigned any homework. J2 didn't like it because it compelled him to get up early to catch a bus, the kids were loud and the school looks like a factory. He really stressed the fact he didn't like the other kids.
"You know what you have in common with those kids?" J asked only waiting a second for a reply. "You don't like to do homework."
So the next day, a Thursday, I spent the morning re-registering J2 for his old high school, withdrawing him from the vocational school. When we went to the high school we both sat down and talked to the counselor. She expressed her sadness that J2 was leaving the vocational program and asked J2 if he was really ready for the work the high school had. Although the school is a public school it's also highly competitive. For 9th and 10th graders they offer foundational classes for core subjects but in the 11th grade things become accelerated, nothing but college preparatory and honors classes.
"You're going to have to do 2 to 3 hours of homework a night," she explained, still with a sad look on her face. "Do you think you can do it?"
"Yeah," he said half heartedly.
"Because..." and she went on to explain to him how everyone loved him there. The teachers really loved him and thought he was sweet and kind. The kids really loved him and he was popular. But gently, very gently she relayed that she didn't think he was capable of doing the work.
Then we I explained to her that I thought he could do the work. That I thought he had some bad habits that we haven't been able to break but I was sure that he could get him college ready. We excused J2 and the discussion got deeper. She brought out his grades, (which I haven't seen because I relied on my husband's account of what J2 earned) and saw that his GPA was low and class ranking near the bottom. Could J2 get college ready? Was I wanting more for him than he could deliver? Or more than J2 even wanted for himself? And the more she talked I began to get the picture --they think he's slow! And looking at his grades it was hard to argue against the point.
So we decided to have him tested for learning disablilities both through school and with his doctor. We set up the first meeting where we the three of us (J2, J and myself) sat down with his high school teacher and school counselor to decide on a plan of action for attacking school. The teachers weighed in on what type of student he was in class, the school counselor said he would get tested by the school psychologist and my husband and I said, "okay".
J2 was nonplussed.
It would take a few weeks for the second meeting, where we all gathered to find out what type of student J2 was. When we got home J went straight to bed and stared at the ceiling.
"I blame myself," he said.
"Well, I kinda blame you, too," I replied.
"It's because I wasn't around when he was younger," J said. His eyes were moist and his voice sad. "His mom said she didn't know how to help him with his homework in 5th grade and
In the meantime I began to tutor and sideline coach J2. No, just because something is
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