Daniel starts his day by eating breakfast with his mommy
Letting Go of Final Baby Moments
Today as I checked my calendar I noticed that my son has turned 18 months. Wow. Just 6 more months and he'll be 2yrs old and fully outside the "baby" stage. In truth he's already into the toddler stage but during this twilight time frame I can still claim he's my baby. But soon I wont be able to...
As I stood there looking at my scribble in the calendar I once again started the mourning tears. Gosh I thought I dealt with this when he turned 1 yr. But here I am again shedding tears for the loss of a section of my son's babyhood. It just seems like its all happening so fast...somehow he's picking up speed and moving further and further away from me. At this rate that dreaded day where he'll be old enough to branch out on his own will be here before I'm prepared. Lawd help this mother cope!
Why all the worry and sadness? Well, it's not like my family has prepared me for dealing with this. It's sad to say but my family has issues of codependency. Branching out on your own as an independent is sorta frowned upon. Heck, its downright discouraged. We haven't been taught the healthiness of becoming your own person. I had to leave home at 18, damn near run away, to discover who I am as a person...separate from my family and their expectations.
I don't want that to happen to my son. I want him to become his own little entity without hangups. With each developmental stage I want to be proud and supportive as he takes steps to find his place in the world. So I shed my tears and mourn my loss but I do not try to hold on...
As I stood there looking at my scribble in the calendar I once again started the mourning tears. Gosh I thought I dealt with this when he turned 1 yr. But here I am again shedding tears for the loss of a section of my son's babyhood. It just seems like its all happening so fast...somehow he's picking up speed and moving further and further away from me. At this rate that dreaded day where he'll be old enough to branch out on his own will be here before I'm prepared. Lawd help this mother cope!Why all the worry and sadness? Well, it's not like my family has prepared me for dealing with this. It's sad to say but my family has issues of codependency. Branching out on your own as an independent is sorta frowned upon. Heck, its downright discouraged. We haven't been taught the healthiness of becoming your own person. I had to leave home at 18, damn near run away, to discover who I am as a person...separate from my family and their expectations.
I don't want that to happen to my son. I want him to become his own little entity without hangups. With each developmental stage I want to be proud and supportive as he takes steps to find his place in the world. So I shed my tears and mourn my loss but I do not try to hold on...
Wordless Wednesday - Playing Doctor
Doctor Daniel is about to perform a very dangerous surgery. No doll is going to die on his watch. CLEAR! LOL
Other Wordless Wednesday Want to include your link here? email me
My Son and The Cellphone
I think all kids like phones. Maybe it because they see their parents and family talking and laughing on them and they want to do the same. Whatever it is kids and phones seem to be something all parents have to deal with.
My son has been fascinated with phones since he was a baby. He would stare at them and then later he would reach for them. Of course now he's fully able to grab the phone and say hello...among other things. For example my son likes to try "text" on my phone. The bright lights, funny sounds of the buttons and the sliding parts entertains my son to no end. I tried getting some of it on video but of course my son had other ideas about what should be videoed.
My son has been fascinated with phones since he was a baby. He would stare at them and then later he would reach for them. Of course now he's fully able to grab the phone and say hello...among other things. For example my son likes to try "text" on my phone. The bright lights, funny sounds of the buttons and the sliding parts entertains my son to no end. I tried getting some of it on video but of course my son had other ideas about what should be videoed.
Daniels First Official Snow Day
Today the snow storm hit the NYC area covering everything is whiteness. With a few days left before xmas you can say the storm happened right in the nick of time for a white xmas. As I watched the snow fall I remembered a similar storm happening last year. At the time Daniel wasn't walking yet, but I remember thinking next year he will be able to play in the snow.
Well, here is his time. With this years snow storm Daniel can have his first "official" snow day. Now he can walk, run, touch and even taste the snow. So with excitement I dressed him in layers including a full body snow suit. I also dressed him in an adorable hat and gloves set from The Children's Place we recently received.
The hat had a bill and flaps on the side to cover his ears but with no pieces to tie. I liked that cause Daniel is always pulling off his hat and I'd rather it come off easy then to semi choke him. The gloves are made out of fleece like the hat but also has Thermolite insulation and a textured strip for secure gripping. How cool right? These would be Daniels first gloves!
So now that we're dressed, we went out the door and into the snow. As I placed Daniel in the snow, he had a different reaction then I thought. He stood there for a few minutes just looking around and then...started crying. Whaaaaaa. Hmm. I tried showing him how fun the snow is but he wasn't going for it. He wanted out of the white stuff and now, now, now.
To make matters worse he refused to walk in or next to the snow. He insisted I picked him up and carry him. So before the neighbors started asking why I was being a mean mommy, I just picked him up. We did a short walk around the block with my sister and then went back home. So much for having a child who's a snow bunny. Maybe next year.
Please Note: The hat & glove set was a sample sent for me to review. No other compensation was provided
Well, here is his time. With this years snow storm Daniel can have his first "official" snow day. Now he can walk, run, touch and even taste the snow. So with excitement I dressed him in layers including a full body snow suit. I also dressed him in an adorable hat and gloves set from The Children's Place we recently received.
The hat had a bill and flaps on the side to cover his ears but with no pieces to tie. I liked that cause Daniel is always pulling off his hat and I'd rather it come off easy then to semi choke him. The gloves are made out of fleece like the hat but also has Thermolite insulation and a textured strip for secure gripping. How cool right? These would be Daniels first gloves!
So now that we're dressed, we went out the door and into the snow. As I placed Daniel in the snow, he had a different reaction then I thought. He stood there for a few minutes just looking around and then...started crying. Whaaaaaa. Hmm. I tried showing him how fun the snow is but he wasn't going for it. He wanted out of the white stuff and now, now, now.
To make matters worse he refused to walk in or next to the snow. He insisted I picked him up and carry him. So before the neighbors started asking why I was being a mean mommy, I just picked him up. We did a short walk around the block with my sister and then went back home. So much for having a child who's a snow bunny. Maybe next year.
Please Note: The hat & glove set was a sample sent for me to review. No other compensation was provided
Wordless Wednesday - Catch a Kid
While trying to recover files from the corrupted USB drive, I found this photo of me and Daniel at the Korean Parade from a few months back. As usual Daniel was trying to run off somewhere and I had to keep him in place. LOL
Other Wordless Wednesday Want to include your link here? email me
Nikki's Interview on A See Through Soul
I was recently interviewed by Onika Pascal to be the "feature mommy of the month" on her blog A See Through Soul.
Onika asked me about
Onika asked me about
- the meaning of the term blasian,
- how do I feel about raising a child who has 3 different cultures
- what tips do I have for parents who want to be active and enjoy time with their kids.
Dear Kid Saturday – Change is Good
It's Saturday! Time for a Dear Daniel letter
Dear Daniel
I noticed that you were getting a bit cranky and clingy as I finished packing up our things today. I know you sense a change is happening and it might be scary. Living with my family is all that you've know during your early life. But sweetie we cant and shouldn't live with them for much longer.
I know your too young to understand about change but it's a good and healthy part of life. Your growing and you need your own space and home. I want to give you a stable environment and life not filled with drama and stress. This is something your dad and I didn't have while growing up and we promised to give that to you. For my part I'm going to keep that promise and finally move out and on from living with my family.
I'm excited to finally start our life as a family. It's ok that it's just the two of us. It will be a bit rough to start but mommy promises it will get better. Have faith in me and this decision. Now please let go of my leg so I can finish packing.
Love you always,
Your Umma
Dear Daniel
I noticed that you were getting a bit cranky and clingy as I finished packing up our things today. I know you sense a change is happening and it might be scary. Living with my family is all that you've know during your early life. But sweetie we cant and shouldn't live with them for much longer.
I know your too young to understand about change but it's a good and healthy part of life. Your growing and you need your own space and home. I want to give you a stable environment and life not filled with drama and stress. This is something your dad and I didn't have while growing up and we promised to give that to you. For my part I'm going to keep that promise and finally move out and on from living with my family.
I'm excited to finally start our life as a family. It's ok that it's just the two of us. It will be a bit rough to start but mommy promises it will get better. Have faith in me and this decision. Now please let go of my leg so I can finish packing.
Love you always,
Your Umma
Wanna play? Here’s how to participate in Dear Kid Saturday:
- Write your own Dear Kid letter on your blog.
- Grab a Dear Kid Saturday button for your post and/or your sidebar.
- Sign the latest Dear Kid Saturday MckLinky with your name and the link to your Dear Kid post – the specific post URL, not the homepage of your blog.
Wordless Wednesday - Bird Catching
Daniel is running after the birds trying to catch them.
Other Wordless Wednesday Want to link up? send me an email
Unwelcomed Unplanned Univited Guests
I woke up this morning to do my morning routine of trying to be productive. As I walk into the living room I see my 2nd sister and a female friend of hers sleeping there. I groan inward because this is not a new thing. I say a silent prayer that her guest don't stay long and continue my process. Then I hear a baby crying. Huh?
It's not my baby, this is a cry from a much younger infant. After a couple of minutes my 1st sister comes out to make a bottle, returns and the crying stops. Then a strange women comes out with a strange infant and starts walking around the living room. What the hell!
This happens all the time with my family. They're always inviting/helping out some friend over to where we're living without asking or informing. My mother hardly says anything because she's weak in control/influence when it comes to her children. Yeah I said it. It's true. My mother is SO not a strong parent figure.
So whats the problem? Two things. First my sisters can't help themselves so how they trying to help these other girls. It's always the same issue. Pregnant teenage girls who have issues with boys friends or mothers. The thing is they're problems tend to follow them here! The last girl here had to call the cops cause her baby father came over here causing trouble. She let him into the apt...without informing or asking anymore...and then homie started grabbing on her. I damn near had a fit!
The second issue is my sister always wants to show off my son like he's some damn freak show. I been meaning to blog about this for a while now. They're so proud of his "look" and always trying to show people their "Korean" nephew. This annoys the hell out of me so I always keep Daniel away from these "guests".
I don't like the way they always want to touch his skin, play with his hair or talk about how "Chinese" my son looks. What's more irritating is that my family can't catch a damn clue. You'd think after hearing me rant or seeing me hide away they'd get it. But nope they're still oblivious.
So I continue to hide and if they force the issue by trying to take my son to these "guest" then I become down right rude. This usually earns me an attitude from my sisters and their guest but hey...these people are no guest of me and my son's so to hell with them.
It's not my baby, this is a cry from a much younger infant. After a couple of minutes my 1st sister comes out to make a bottle, returns and the crying stops. Then a strange women comes out with a strange infant and starts walking around the living room. What the hell!
This happens all the time with my family. They're always inviting/helping out some friend over to where we're living without asking or informing. My mother hardly says anything because she's weak in control/influence when it comes to her children. Yeah I said it. It's true. My mother is SO not a strong parent figure.
So whats the problem? Two things. First my sisters can't help themselves so how they trying to help these other girls. It's always the same issue. Pregnant teenage girls who have issues with boys friends or mothers. The thing is they're problems tend to follow them here! The last girl here had to call the cops cause her baby father came over here causing trouble. She let him into the apt...without informing or asking anymore...and then homie started grabbing on her. I damn near had a fit!
The second issue is my sister always wants to show off my son like he's some damn freak show. I been meaning to blog about this for a while now. They're so proud of his "look" and always trying to show people their "Korean" nephew. This annoys the hell out of me so I always keep Daniel away from these "guests".
I don't like the way they always want to touch his skin, play with his hair or talk about how "Chinese" my son looks. What's more irritating is that my family can't catch a damn clue. You'd think after hearing me rant or seeing me hide away they'd get it. But nope they're still oblivious.
So I continue to hide and if they force the issue by trying to take my son to these "guest" then I become down right rude. This usually earns me an attitude from my sisters and their guest but hey...these people are no guest of me and my son's so to hell with them.
My Angel Turns Into A Devil
How did my son start off the day being a little angel only to end it as a little devil? When did someone switch my sweet little boy and replaced him with a bundle of mischief?!
The day started so good. Daniel kept my company while I made breakfast and planned the days activity. He sat so nicely reading while I ran around getting things ready. Then later when we went to the post office he was so wonderful trying to help by getting me forms for my packages. True I didn't need any of the forms but I didn't want to point that out. LOL
I am so proud that Daniel is turning more into a big boy. Our post office trip was the first time WITHOUT the stroller. Yup, Daniel walked from where we lived to the post office. He held my hand and walked along for all of the 5 blocks.
Then he stood nice on line at the post office. That is until he decided I needed forms for my packages. Then off he went to get them. I didn't mind the running back and forth cause it kept him happy and quiet. Also, his running around provided entertainment for the other people waiting on line. We all laughed as we watched Daniel and forgot about how long we were waiting.
So after all that how did things take a turn to the worse? I became so angry tonight, I wanted to take him to his father's job and drop him off for a long while. Why? Because, while I was in another room, my son snuck over to the computer and rebooted it. Again. This time somehow the reboot reformatted my USB drive that was still attached.
I check the USB drive as many different ways I could think of but nothing, nada, zip, no files. I didn't know what to do. 100's of photos, documents, vids and projects I had started and hoped to finish deleted. Just. Like. That. I was so angry.
After few hours I realized a few things.
But this is the life we live. Things are not guaranteed. We can try to save moments in different ways but the best way to remember something is by living in that moment and not waiting to enjoy later. Life might be rebooted for you and then what?
The day started so good. Daniel kept my company while I made breakfast and planned the days activity. He sat so nicely reading while I ran around getting things ready. Then later when we went to the post office he was so wonderful trying to help by getting me forms for my packages. True I didn't need any of the forms but I didn't want to point that out. LOL
I am so proud that Daniel is turning more into a big boy. Our post office trip was the first time WITHOUT the stroller. Yup, Daniel walked from where we lived to the post office. He held my hand and walked along for all of the 5 blocks.
Then he stood nice on line at the post office. That is until he decided I needed forms for my packages. Then off he went to get them. I didn't mind the running back and forth cause it kept him happy and quiet. Also, his running around provided entertainment for the other people waiting on line. We all laughed as we watched Daniel and forgot about how long we were waiting.
So after all that how did things take a turn to the worse? I became so angry tonight, I wanted to take him to his father's job and drop him off for a long while. Why? Because, while I was in another room, my son snuck over to the computer and rebooted it. Again. This time somehow the reboot reformatted my USB drive that was still attached.
I check the USB drive as many different ways I could think of but nothing, nada, zip, no files. I didn't know what to do. 100's of photos, documents, vids and projects I had started and hoped to finish deleted. Just. Like. That. I was so angry.
After few hours I realized a few things.
- First and foremost, Daniel is banned from touching the PC whenever I'm working on it.
- Second, is that I'm more sad about losing memories and moments in Daniel life.
But this is the life we live. Things are not guaranteed. We can try to save moments in different ways but the best way to remember something is by living in that moment and not waiting to enjoy later. Life might be rebooted for you and then what?
Dear Kid Saturday – Mommy Bathroom Time
It's Saturday! Time for a Dear Daniel letter
Dear Daniel
It's time for you to allow mommy some private all alone bathroom time. I understand that you like to follow me around to make sure your not missing anything exciting...or eatable. But the bathroom is/has been/and will remain off limits to you until your potty trained...or it's bath time.
Please stop trying to open the door. Please also stop banging on said door when you can't find a way to open it. Most important please stop making a scene until mommy is forced to peak out the bathroom to check that everything is OK.
I hope you will soon understand this is about mommy needing someplace where she is not being "mommy".
Love you always,
Your Umma
Dear Daniel
It's time for you to allow mommy some private all alone bathroom time. I understand that you like to follow me around to make sure your not missing anything exciting...or eatable. But the bathroom is/has been/and will remain off limits to you until your potty trained...or it's bath time.
Please stop trying to open the door. Please also stop banging on said door when you can't find a way to open it. Most important please stop making a scene until mommy is forced to peak out the bathroom to check that everything is OK.
I hope you will soon understand this is about mommy needing someplace where she is not being "mommy".
Love you always,
Your Umma
Wanna play? Here’s how to participate in Dear Kid Saturday:
- Write your own Dear Kid letter on your blog.
- Grab a Dear Kid Saturday button for your post and/or your sidebar.
- Sign the latest Dear Kid Saturday MckLinky with your name and the link to your Dear Kid post – the specific post URL, not the homepage of your blog.
Supporting Target and Breastfeeding
Bashing Target has become the new pastime. The Target brand has now become a target (pun intended). I've tried to keep out of the "politics" of it but really it's all getting to be a bit much. All the boycotting and anti Target blogs, tweets and online site and groups are giving me a headache.
What's the issue? In a Harper Woods, Michigan local Target store a nursing mom was told by store security that nursing was illegal and she had to leave the store. From there some type of back and forth discussion happened between the family and security till finally the cops were called and the couple "forcefully" escorted out the store.
Target soon after made a public apology and clarified their breast feeding policy, which supports a mothers right to nurse. But still there's drama. Why? I dunno.
On my end as a nursing mother I still support Target as a brand and will continue to shop there. I think working with Target, a national company, to find ways of educating their employees from executive level to stock room person is better then bashing.
Is enforcing laws on breastfeeding needed? Absolutely but so is educating about these same laws. Lets try that first before we pull out the torches to burn a company down. Sometimes I wish we could resolve conflicts without things getting ugly don't you?
special thanks to that_danielle for giving me this blog idea
What's the issue? In a Harper Woods, Michigan local Target store a nursing mom was told by store security that nursing was illegal and she had to leave the store. From there some type of back and forth discussion happened between the family and security till finally the cops were called and the couple "forcefully" escorted out the store.Target soon after made a public apology and clarified their breast feeding policy, which supports a mothers right to nurse. But still there's drama. Why? I dunno.
On my end as a nursing mother I still support Target as a brand and will continue to shop there. I think working with Target, a national company, to find ways of educating their employees from executive level to stock room person is better then bashing.
Is enforcing laws on breastfeeding needed? Absolutely but so is educating about these same laws. Lets try that first before we pull out the torches to burn a company down. Sometimes I wish we could resolve conflicts without things getting ugly don't you?
special thanks to that_danielle for giving me this blog idea
Wordless Wednesday - Being Entertained
An employee of 1800Flowers.com playing with Daniel so I can do my job as "media" and cover the event.
Other Wordless Wednesday Want to link up? send me an email
- NYC Single Mom
- Latina On a Mission
- Kristi @ TweetingMama
- The Prissy Mommy
My Son's First Job Interview
After seeing the debut of the new "Night at the Museum" exhibit at Madame Tussauds, Daniel and I went to visit my old job. What started as a visit turned into my son's first job interview.
Sadly Deb, the Director of Office Operations were out of the office. So Daniel met with Gisselle, the Asst to the Director and with the Diana, the Front Desk coordinator, who now has his mommies past job.
Daniel thinks he impressed them both with his willing to be a go-getter when he "helped out" at the front desk. He tried answering the phones but they wouldn't let him. They said something about needing to learn how to talk first. Daniel didn't get it...he can say "HI" just fine. What more do they need?!
Daniel also took a tour of the office to bond with his future co-workers and felt they were also impressed. He's patiently waiting to hear back about a last "official" meeting with Deb, the Director of Office Operations and keeper of the candy jar. Daniel has heard good things from his mommy about the candy jar =)
Sadly Deb, the Director of Office Operations were out of the office. So Daniel met with Gisselle, the Asst to the Director and with the Diana, the Front Desk coordinator, who now has his mommies past job.
Daniel thinks he impressed them both with his willing to be a go-getter when he "helped out" at the front desk. He tried answering the phones but they wouldn't let him. They said something about needing to learn how to talk first. Daniel didn't get it...he can say "HI" just fine. What more do they need?!
Daniel also took a tour of the office to bond with his future co-workers and felt they were also impressed. He's patiently waiting to hear back about a last "official" meeting with Deb, the Director of Office Operations and keeper of the candy jar. Daniel has heard good things from his mommy about the candy jar =)
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The Family Coach
